Holistic Approach

[evieshka]

What if you weren't raised by wolves?

I sat in her office
hundreds of miles from home
playing with my glasses so I wouldn't have to look at her when I asked for something chemical to make
the constant alarm of my worry fall silent

she asked me who raised me if my father was absent
and my mother was Absent
(capital A for Alcoholics but no second A for Anonymous)

all I could say was
"I don't know."
There aren't any wolves in the city.




Chemical Imbalance

I am terrified of my medication
which is
a single pill I take with each meal

I've heard bad things about it and the people who take it
I don't want it
but I need it

So I swallow three times a day religiously
like a call to prayer

The only side effect so far is fear lingering somewhere around my intestines
I don't trust the lack of trouble or the absence of harm.

It
Helps.

I don't trust that, either.

So it goes with loving you.





Phobic

I lied.

I fear a lot of things
None of them will kill me, though,
and that's why I never bring them up in polite conversation.

When people ask what you fear,
what they really want to know is all the ways you are afraid to die.

I'm afraid of all the things I still have to live through.