Jötunn

[evieshka]

Jötunn

She called me to the snow, promising peace and quiet
if I would lie down with her, she would blanket me
wrap me up in a snowdrift and decorate me with frozen crystals

she wants me to walk into the water -

how tempting to die

She has crept up on me before along the banks of a river
before the sharp chill becomes winter
she whispers to me
eat the stones
settle them in your stomach
walk into the water and sink

i will freeze
you
the river
and time

I praised her name before I covered my ears and ran.

Will she come to me on a beach one day
when I stand with my toes in the grit of ancient dead things
rinsed clean with every wave and sinking deeper into the decay

what will she promise me then and there at the heart of me

when the ocean is roaring for me
in me
through me

if she says to walk into the water and sink
how can i resist my own blood? (How cold the seafloor must be.)

I live inland to keep my feet dry.
To keep myself from dissolving into grit beneath her feet.
She is so much more ancient than sand.